tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-192156532009-11-08T10:12:05.535-06:00Jhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13775633121444004911morethanintermittent@hotmail.comBlogger404125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19215653.post-90746358197117636942009-10-14T11:40:00.002-06:002009-10-14T13:40:31.797-06:00

In the pit of my stomach there is a churning that is creating this horrible nasty feeling called guilt. It started on Sunday during my journey home from Florida and it has continued to grow and I am not sure how to stop it.While I was still in Florida, I received a text from the Brother asking if I wanted him to pick me up at the airport in city to the North so I could attend Thanksgiving dinner

Jhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13775633121444004911morethanintermittent@hotmail.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19215653.post-29633229360422711312009-10-06T10:06:00.000-06:002009-10-06T10:06:00.348-06:00

One evening as I was walking in the park, I passed a lady that was the spitting image of my Grandma M. She had the same silver gray hairstyle. The same stride, full of purpose and vigor. Even her smile was similar. She caused the memories to come flooding back.It would have been winter. A typically cold but bright sunny day. The light and warmth from the sun streaming through the window. A quilt

Jhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13775633121444004911morethanintermittent@hotmail.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19215653.post-9600022154116249032009-10-04T13:45:00.000-06:002009-10-04T13:45:00.366-06:00

As you read this I will on plane on my way to Orlando. I am looking forward to getting away and being distracted by the sights. I have actually managed to complete a few posts that have been in the works for what seems like an eternity. I have scheduled them to appear while I am away. It is crazy to think that I am able to have more posts while I am away than when I am home. Enjoy! See you in a

Jhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13775633121444004911morethanintermittent@hotmail.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19215653.post-16420869911230457692009-09-29T14:59:00.001-06:002009-09-29T15:01:42.691-06:00

4.5 days and I will be in Disney World. If that doesn't help with the depression I am not sure what will....j.

Jhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13775633121444004911morethanintermittent@hotmail.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19215653.post-72746816952750247962009-09-29T13:07:00.002-06:002009-09-29T14:54:49.808-06:00

It is official. I. Am. Depressed.3 sessions in and we have totally shifted gears. We had talked about depression in previous sessions but in this last session we discussed it in more depth. And we came to the conclusion that my biggest hurdle right now is pulling myself out of deep dark cave that I have retreated into.I have good days and bad days. Yesterday, yesterday was a bad day. I had to

Jhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13775633121444004911morethanintermittent@hotmail.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19215653.post-67254893733592368032009-09-08T20:52:00.003-06:002009-09-10T18:17:18.453-06:00

I ducked out of work early and made my way to my car. The walk felt longer than usual. My stomach had been in knots all day. Those knots started to churn and produce an overwhelming feeling of nausea. Then I started to feel the tears pool in my eyes. I breathed deep, bit my lip, put my head down, and walked faster.The feelings of apprehension continued all the way to my destination. I rang

Jhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13775633121444004911morethanintermittent@hotmail.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19215653.post-73890987473798382512009-08-31T21:37:00.000-06:002009-08-31T21:38:16.314-06:00

Same password. If you don't have the current password, email me at morethanintermittent@hotmail.com.j.

Jhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13775633121444004911morethanintermittent@hotmail.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19215653.post-80871585228008105522009-08-29T10:19:00.003-06:002009-08-31T21:15:35.617-06:00

The wedding that I attended this past weekend was perhaps one of the most bizarre functions I have ever attended. The bride is of Laotian decent and the groom is Filipino. They had 2 ceremonies. A traditional Laotian ceremony and then the western ceremony with lunch in between. I did not attend the Laotian ceremony but heard it was very interesting. I did attend the lunch and second ceremony

Jhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13775633121444004911morethanintermittent@hotmail.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19215653.post-9009823725247102922009-08-27T23:43:00.000-06:002009-08-28T12:30:28.214-06:00

It is not surprising that I have been contemplating my future lately. There have been a number of incidents that have led me to consider what I want to do with my life. Some of it steams from the events of the last few months, some of it from questions friends have asked, and some of it from other posts I have read. But most of all it steams from my brother's impending unemployment and subsequent

Jhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13775633121444004911morethanintermittent@hotmail.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19215653.post-66225624492005083592009-08-23T01:23:00.006-06:002009-08-24T11:14:12.150-06:00

I attended a wedding this evening. I am now in my hotel room , drunk, alone, and depressed. The wedding was great. It was interesting (more on that later) but there were many points in the night where I had to choke back tears and force myself not to bolt from the room.One, I was the singleton of my crowd. Everyone was coupled at my table and at the table next to us. I was also the fifth wheel at

Jhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13775633121444004911morethanintermittent@hotmail.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19215653.post-82337733518354750252009-08-10T13:46:00.005-06:002009-08-10T22:22:05.838-06:00

I am still here, lurking in the shadows. Things are as muddled as ever. There are a million thoughts swimming around in my brain. Some days it takes every ounce of energy I possess to push those thoughts to the side for a moment so I can function like a normal human being. I lack focus. I lack concentration.All the words of advice from friends keeps ringing in my ears and rattling around in

Jhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13775633121444004911morethanintermittent@hotmail.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19215653.post-50881521200576211332009-07-17T13:33:00.004-06:002009-07-26T20:47:10.019-06:00

I woke up late that morning. I was in the midst of yet another cold. My head was stuffy and my lungs ached. I stumbled out of bed and raced to the shower. From that point forward there was a flurry of activity. Including multiple wardrobe changes. I raced to work and practically sprinted (stopping only to have a coughing fit) from my parking spot to the office. And when I walked through

Jhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13775633121444004911morethanintermittent@hotmail.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19215653.post-89620875039086631292009-07-07T21:36:00.000-06:002009-08-31T21:37:44.821-06:00

Same password. If you don't have the current password, email me at morethanintermittent@hotmail.com.j.

Jhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13775633121444004911morethanintermittent@hotmail.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19215653.post-20593867940293987722009-07-06T12:51:00.001-06:002009-07-06T12:51:44.527-06:00

Same password. If you don't have the current password, email me at morethanintermittent@hotmail.com.j.

Jhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13775633121444004911morethanintermittent@hotmail.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19215653.post-89124739727369036682009-06-28T19:37:00.000-06:002009-06-28T19:38:33.011-06:00

This post is amazing. Read it.j.

Jhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13775633121444004911morethanintermittent@hotmail.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19215653.post-34511842269384614382009-06-24T20:50:00.001-06:002009-06-24T20:50:44.106-06:00

Same password. If you don't have the current password, email me at morethanintermittent@hotmail.com.j.

Jhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13775633121444004911morethanintermittent@hotmail.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19215653.post-28474912795227974442009-06-20T16:27:00.003-06:002009-06-20T16:53:15.204-06:00

I breathed a sigh of relief today when I saw that he was alert and had some colour in his face. Last night when I saw him he was lethargic and unresponsive. The night before was even worse. He has had a slow recovery. They had to put a tube into his stomach to drain the fluid because it was making him nauseous and vomit hourly. He told me that his doctor said that his digestive system and

Jhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13775633121444004911morethanintermittent@hotmail.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19215653.post-76052125435642762102009-06-15T22:18:00.001-06:002009-06-15T22:19:44.713-06:00

Same password. If you don't have the current password, email me at morethanintermittent@hotmail.com.j.

Jhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13775633121444004911morethanintermittent@hotmail.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19215653.post-46477761327969619432009-06-10T22:15:00.004-06:002009-06-10T22:41:35.279-06:00

I have been balancing on an emotional tight rope. One misstep and I tumble towards the ground. Sometimes the wire is just a little shaky and I manage to regain my composure and continue on my way. Its the little tremors that seem to have the biggest repercussions. They either send me off into a fit of rage or into a teary blubbering state.Today's fit of rage was induced by the individual who

Jhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13775633121444004911morethanintermittent@hotmail.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19215653.post-81109951061724278752009-06-09T12:06:00.002-06:002009-06-09T21:18:25.652-06:00

Go here.Email for password, morethanintermittent@hotmail.com.j.

Jhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13775633121444004911morethanintermittent@hotmail.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19215653.post-62772839370344027592009-06-05T11:38:00.003-06:002009-06-05T11:47:27.508-06:00

My father is still struggling with his breathing. A few weeks back they gave him another round of antibiotics and oxygen for use at night. However, he is using oxygen throughout the day as well as in the evening now. I spoke to him last night and he seems to be in good spirits but I know he is struggling.The oldest brother's surgery is scheduled for June 15th. I can see the relief in his face

Jhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13775633121444004911morethanintermittent@hotmail.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19215653.post-72587620218541017502009-05-31T22:08:00.003-06:002009-05-31T22:19:09.976-06:00

G and I are over. I ended it in a long teary phone call today. I did most of the talking. I told him how much I really knew. And most of the time all I got was silence. I think he knew he couldn't lie and I know he couldn't bring himself to tell me the truth. He did tell me that this past Monday he woke up and everything felt right. It had fallen into place. He was taking steps forward.

Jhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13775633121444004911morethanintermittent@hotmail.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19215653.post-11306036810788107152009-05-31T00:52:00.003-06:002009-05-31T01:23:47.399-06:00

This has been the longest week of my life. Sunday started out perfectly. I rolled over in the morning with a deep sigh of contentment as G wrapped his arms around me. I was going to be meeting some of his family that day. I was nervous and excited. I felt like I was finally being included. Granted, when I arrived at his place the night before I was unaware of the family lunch. But still it

Jhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13775633121444004911morethanintermittent@hotmail.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19215653.post-45605031319508826152009-05-30T00:51:00.003-06:002009-05-30T00:59:38.659-06:00

My heart is beating so hard it threatens to explode from my chest, my stomach is in knots, my head is pounding, and the tears are falling at an alarming rate. Sleep alludes me. Thoughts plague me. Every piece of my body and soul aches. They say the truth hurts. I say it is devastating.j.

Jhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13775633121444004911morethanintermittent@hotmail.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19215653.post-50963653992974890532009-05-06T22:35:00.003-06:002009-05-06T22:50:57.595-06:00

I mentioned a while back that the oldest brother is having some health problems. Well, he has been diagnosed with something called a Fistula. From what he described, in his case, it is basically a pocket that has formed in his colon that has attached itself to the bladder. Now don't quote me on that. Anyway, he has been put on the priority list for surgery and will likely be under the knife

Jhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13775633121444004911morethanintermittent@hotmail.com0